Creme de la

When I was little, I didn't get gravy. It was all creamy and gooey and it went over mashed potatoes, which I frankly didn't get either. I stuck with my meat and cranberry sauce and if I was lucky bread-- essentially, a sandwich.

There is a very specific consistency that I never liked growing up, this creamy-type that really would bother me. Yogurt, for example. I never ate yogurt until I was 20 or so. 'True' macaroni and cheese I still can't eat-- the macaroni is too soft and the cheese mixture is way too much of that awful creaminess. I still hold many grudges against icing and whipped cream of all varieties. 'Hallo. My name is Inigo Montoya. You ruined the consistency of my dessert. Prepare to die.'

That point when ice cream turns more into cream puddles? Disgusting. Ricotta cheese has barred any and all lasagna from me. French onion soup could never happen, nor could putting bread or croutons of any sort into soup to soggify them. Speaking of soggy things, milk in cereal is gross. And cottage cheese is right out.

I like gravy now though. It makes way more sense, especially now that I know how to make a good version of it that doesn't come from a package full of MSG. I still would take a baked potato over a mashed one, especially when my brothers make them (they seem to think that mashed potatoes are most awesome when they are of a pudding consistency), but when I make mashed potatoes they are thicker and less... well, creamy. Smooth, yes, creamy? No. 'Textured', more like. Not lumpy, just... something for your mouth to grip onto instead of it sliding around over your tongue.

Yogurt and pudding are okay now too. I still don't eat cottage cheese, yuck.

And of course, if we travel to the opposite end of the spectrum of textures, one finds that I enthusiastically profess my love to any and all chewy and crunchy-type foods. Caramel comes in two versions, the soft creamy and the work-at-it-for-an-hour chewy, and guess which one I prefer? I'll sort through kettle-cooked chips (like regular chips but BETTER) to find the ones most folded because they are the crunchiest. I love food meant to have different textures: pistachio or oreo ice cream for example. And I love anything with a velvety texture: cake un-iced, fresh soft bread, and the pure smooth ice cream flavors too, like simple chocolate. If there is something to chew, soft and smooth is a lovely flavor; if it's liquid-creamy, that same soft and smooth becomes disturbingly wrong to me.

I say all this because this 'morning' for lunch I had a bowl with leftover mashed potatoes, corn, chicken, and gravy mixed in like a sludgy soup, and it was tasty.

EDIT: How can I forget Hummus?? I perhaps love hummus too much...

Current Tea: Marzipan
Current Project: finding someone to help me move this giant desk so I can paint walls