This Rant Touched Me Inappropriately!

Why so many rants lately?

I've seen several articles pop up via facebook about some of the newer TSA scanning technology, and this 'groping' that persists to be mentioned. People are getting indignant and outraged and planning their civil disobedience marches and boycotting flying and all the rest. This astounds me. Have we really become that self-absorbed as to have missed the point of it all?

The source of the angst seems to be coming from two new practices in TSA procedures. The first is the newest full-body scanner technology that has the ability to show the scannee in a way that could be embarrassing. Essentially, you look like an unclothed human blob. Which could be violating and sexual harassment. Right? The second seems to be the 'groping' procedures when people are personally searched, which people liken to sexual harassment. People are quoting articles of the Constitution to argue against these. Let's... take a step back, shall we?

What happened to spawn all this? Oh that's right. Men carrying bombs blowing up planes. Weren't you all freaked-out upset about that a few years ago? And I promise you, if a plane explodes again, you will freak out again. You want safety and freedom from fear, but you don't want your personal bubble encroached upon. Guess what-- neither is guaranteed in life. GET OVER IT.

But let me reiterate. Men carrying bombs. One human being has the capacity to destroy many human beings. We have enormous capability for atrocity. What prevents us from exercising it? How do we prevent others from exercising it? For the good of the whole, a few must suffer the indignity of their gentlemen or lady parts being, oh God it's just too awful, touched while officers look for telltale signs of atrocity-commiting weapons.

Now, I don't know about you. But *I* saw The Sting. Remember what Robert Redford's character says in the beginning? About where to hide money? 'Stick it down your pants. Ain't a tough guy in the world that'll frisk ya there.'

Hmmmmm. People wouldn't possibly try to hide a bomb in one of these 'sensitive' areas! Oh no no no they would never do that!!

People, please.

The more we raise a stink about it too, the more terrorist-type folk are going to zone in on those areas as ways to break the system. In the name of personal freedom, we are putting people in danger because of the sanctity of our penises and boobs. If we, by the sheer force of our whining stop these procedures and scanners, guess where people of ill intent are going to be hiding their goods? Go on, guess.

There is a reason airport security has evolved in the direction it has. TSA is conducting war on terrorism, and we as normal non-combat citizens don't understand that in a warzone, things like not touching someone in a search to find explosives because they feel 'harassed' will contribute only to a losing strategy. The enemy must be matched and overcome, and we are only crippling ourselves with this stupid 'don't touch my junk or even look at it in a scanner' mentality.

Here's another question: when you go to a hospital when you are sick, do you refuse treatment if it involves any sort of groping? I would like to know which hospital you are going to then! In the name of preserving your health, you will need to give up a lot of personal freedom. I don't hear you whimpering about that! Oh, right-- because this is you we're talking about. Not everyone else on a plane or in an airport whose safety is the ultimate goal, who cares about them. What's important is that *I'm* not touched!

Have we really lost sight of the reason why this is all happening? Has our blind suspicion of 'The Government' twisted us so much we can't see the fact that all of this is in place because people are trying their best to figure out how to protect us? Your penis is not more important than hundreds and thousands of people. Sorry. I'ma tell it like it is.

I haven't even touched (not an altogether intended pun) upon the fact that, for all this new-fangled scanning technology and the groping techniques, I have yet to hear of a blatant case of abuse by a TSA officer. See, when these guys start jerking off to the scanner images in plain view, or attempting rape of those being groped, then we have just cause to worry. When people were civilly disobedient in the 60s in the name of civil rights, they did not do so because they were extrapolating the distant possibility that some white man might not let a black man sit in a restaurant. Civil disobedience happened because the abuse was well in place and considered the norm. This sexual abuse stuff is nothing of the sort, it is people whining about their personal bubbles.

And. As if all this weren't enough! I challenge anyone upset and indignant about this to take a life drawing class. I speak from art school experience-- the act of drawing a nude figure is about as unsexual as you can imagine. First off, you're not thinking about sexual stuffs, you're thinking about the mechanics of the drawing. Second, and get ready for a shocker, most people just don't turn you on. Most of us don't look like [insert top model/actress/dreamy male lead here]. Crazy, but true.

So! Imagine you are a TSA officer on scanner duty. Your job is to stare at that little screen as people come through the scanner, the nekkid blobs that they are. Are you thinking about how hot every chick is and how you'd like to bang them? Or are you thinking something more along the lines of 'there's a blue blob in their pocket looks like a nail clipper oh something on their foot must be some kind of shoe fob and ah they forgot to take their earrings out that's going to set the machine off and I see no bombs on this person NEXT'. Accusing scanner-watchers of sexual harassment is like condemning radiologists looking for breast cancer.

Okay, next exercise! Imagine you are the TSA officer on 'grope' duty. You're looking for suspicious lumps and packages and such among the regular lumps and packages, if you will. You've got to carefully inform the person what you're doing, and conduct yourself in a respectable manner while all the time remembering there are dozens of people watching you. Who is realistically going to be able to focus on a good sexual-harassing grope when there's everything else going on? Or the fact that you are hired to protect people, but that is entirely beside the point, right? CLEARLY these people think of nothing but how to harass people day and night.

So, how do we deal with this? By boycotting flying? By all means, go for it. The less of you selfish loonies on my plane, the better. By causing a scene, holding up the line and getting every supervisor in the place involved? Nice one, you realize you're not only taking others' time but providing a great sort of distraction for any who might want to sneak in with dangerous items. By posting to facebook about the indignancies you suffered? That will garner a few comments and no further action, hooray! By complaining about how inconvenienced you were to everyone you meet? I call emotional harassment on that. I have the right to not be emotionally groped by your selfish skewed perspective!

A final word. When we buy plane tickets and don't read the fine print, we have no excuse to open our mouth against anything TSA subjects us to. We are purchasing a privilege to fly, not a right to do it how we want. Do as you like with this information, but don't come sniveling to me about how your 'rights' were violated when we've got crazies out there looking to kill planes and buildings full of people in this country. I promise you, the right to keep yourself untouched is slightly less important than endeavoring to keep as many people alive and unharmed as possible.